Got stains on my shirt

the flight was horrible! it was rocky when we got to the borders of the philippines.. my mom and i were holding each other's hands tight!
our first stop-over was hong kong. err, not much to see.. we just roamed around the airport for an hour. and then singapore. umm.. we pretty much did the same thing. anyways. when the plane landed, i have no idea what i was feeling. i feel like i havent gotten any sleep for 2 whole days when in fact it's only 1 day. ok. so fast forward, we ate at little asia and my bros keep telling me that it's the place where stars/celebrities eat at the moment. i actually really didnt care. haha. anyways, i called kitkat! and yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! and then joanne when i got home! another yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

ok. last week was my "no internet for 1 week". coz i really didnt have one.. i mean, before we left, we let it our sbc to get cut.. so u know. last week, well i kinda realized that i neednot to use the internet for "a part" of my social life. well ok fine!!! i was dying!!!!! but, i get to spend some quality time with my family and relatives. i have to admit, i was really "not so feeling it" at first because i think i might have loved my friends more than my family. im not rally sure if that a good thing or a bad thing. anyways. last week was like the never-ending party week. for real!!! parties every single day for us. hmm. and then, we went to napa valley. it was awesome! we went to the robert mondavi winery! cool! i get to drink 1 wine! haha! even though it's illegal coz u have to be 21.. but who cares!

PICTURES TO FOLLOW.

i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! soo much my tabulas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"it's only been a week since we last saw each other, but i'm missing you like it's been forever. we don't even talk that often anymore. i miss hearing your voice almost everyday. maybe you're calling somebody else when you get bored at work. maybe i'm not the one you think about when something funny, gross or sad happens. i want to call you, but i don't want to look needy or desperate. we're friends, i know. just friends. whew, i still can't get over the fact that, that's all we could ever be. i'm happy, alright; probably pretending though. i miss you. i hope you do too."

Met up with mah bf kitkat at starbucks and i thought she's gonna be all alone but then when i saw her.. she's with her collge boy friend jv. ["so that's jv.." i was thinking] so anyways, i was really thrilled to see kitkat!!! she's like VIP. so anyways, we hugged and stuff! yay! and so, we roamed around the mall and then saw a life size garfield stuff toy! hahaha! to our very kajologan trait, we took a pic with it! haha! and then we ate at mongkok. kitkat and jv paid for it! yay! and i paid only for the tip. and then joyful and vero came already! pretty fun!!!! joyful is fucking thin!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im not even kiddin!!!!!!!!!! so basically we jsut roamed around and used our feet a lot! shangri-la mall is soo boring! we jsut took some pics pof ourselves and stuff! but it's ayt. it was still fun! and then, what else. we also ate at frio for our snacks. and then jsut roamed around again and we were in and out at starbucks! good grief! seriosuly! we're like losers having not much to do in that mall. and then vero and joyful had to leave coz of their class..and then while we were at starbucks for the last time.. we saw this renier guy. who is that anyway? kitkat and jv told me that he's one of those rising stars. oh ok. oh did i mention joyful's fone is sony ericsson p900?!!?? goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that biatch! hehehe! but it's ayT! she deserves it coz her fone was stolen! daaaamn. so yea. here are the pics. ok? have fun! and enjoy my long chin! hehehe!

here are a couple of more pix. look how desperate kitkat and i look?! we took that pic inside the ladies' restroom.. after we're done pee-ing! hahahahahaha! too much info! we have NO MERCY!!! and the other one.. looks like i have a double chin.. rawr. but pix SOMETIMES lie. oops. we took that one with my digicam.

so my mom yelled at me TWICE today. yes yes! twice!!! how cuuuuuuuute! *sarcasm* why? well mainly because she's forcing me to take up nursing! FUCKING SHIT! WE ALREADY HAD A TALK THAT I DONT WANT NURSING! IT'S JUST NOT MY FIELD! SHIIIIT! and she's like, "ure not thinking about ur future when u go back to america!" blah blah blah.. ok, i know for a fact that nursing is like he number 1 job in demand everywhere.. but can i help it when it's jsut not my interest and im not good at it? add to this major problem that no universities were accepting me as a transfer student to join the second semester which is this coming october.

1. up diliman - they told me that i should wait for next year.. it's their policy
2. ust - they are not accepting transfer students [for nursing]
3. dlsu - undefinite
4. ateneo - undefinite
4. uap - alas, my 1st choice university gave me a lil hope.. although they also told me that it's really unfair for me to enroll for the 2nd sem.. good news? i dont think i would have to take an entrance again.
5. mc - ?????????????????

i admit.. i was rebelling and having tantrums and being bratty and bitchy to her.. ok guys lemme ask u a question.. why do u wanna go to college?? i know most of you will say "for my future.." or something like that.. i tell u what.. ME TOO! with my situation.. it's soo hard. well i want to graduate on time just like everybody does! AND to birghten up my future as well!!! so tell me, why shouldnt i be all bratty and bitchy to her when all i know is that it's because of them why we went back here!??!!!



watched 50 first dates a while ago.. must be tough. the movie was funny and ok. and now? im sleepy. oh a while ago.. we went to lto.. my mom renewed her license and mine too. aah crap. now all i have to do is to get used in the driving here in manila.

pictures worth a thousand words!

how come i haven't updated my tabulas since i got here in manila? hmm is it because im back to the country i once knew as my night-out place? weird, the thing is, all of my friends are in school.. so.. i dunno. get my point? nevermind..! anyways.

so here's the plan.. such big universities wont accept transferees for the second sem.. i really have to wait next year. when i knew about this.. i was really depressed.. coz seriously.. all i want is to finish college on time. when i was younger, i told myself that i will finish my college at the age that people should really finish them! i was traumatized by what my brother has gone through.. i saw him worked his butt off through college.. changing school per school.. until he graduated at the age of 27 i think.. or somewhere in that age bracket.. ok fine, the point is that he graduated with a bachelor of science degree in accountancy right? but.. i dunno.. there's jsut something about graduating college at the "assigned" time you're supposed to. God help me.

so, my brother asked me.. just so to "spare" my sad time being unschooled, that if i want to work for the meantime at his call center thingie. hmmm.. now this i have to think about it really hard.. but that's jsut it!!! i didnt think about it that hard!! i immediately said yes! hey hey dont get me wrong but i surely wanna earn some janx! but of course! studies is my first priority. i know that thames accept transfer students for the second sem.. im not THAT sure though. but if they do.. i would take the advantage! all i want is to study and further my knowledge with a degree, of course. but i feel with my current situation, me-in-college is being taken away from me. now this is really painful.. now i know how some students feel who are being deprived of education. it's sooo hard. so i kinda told my mom about this.. and she understood.. she told me that my situation is already different.. [being a green card holder and all] different all right, sure is! it's a sacrifice for my part.. i think. -sigh-

so today, i made my resume. and went to MSA [a tutorial thing] to "enroll". just so i have something to do, plus this act can help me refresh my memory with what ive already learned in my past years. it's a review for the CETs. I DUNNO! part of me is fine with it, but i know that a huge part of me is sooo against it. why? well ok, the reason is kinda shallow.. but i guess when people i know and used to know see me reviewing for CETs AGAIN, they would think "sarah? u failed or u repeated a year?!" if only people would be open minded and not make stories.. shallow huh? but seriously, are my pride and prejudice taking over what really matters and what really is practical?!

IF I HAVENT GONE HOME, IF IM STILL IN CALIFORNIA, THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN.

it's about freaking time!! ok, here's what happened.. our net was cut because.. i dunno. hehe! so.. i didnt get to use the pc for a while.. until now..and im using a prepaid internet card.. anyways.

today.. went to gh and shopped. bought some stuff.. mostly jewelry.

and then i have a job interview tom at eastwood! 9am! g0od Lord please be with me!

and my license card would be tom as well! aaaah!

soo much pressure!!!! add to this is that im getting fat.

fat alright, what's new? yesterday.. met up with erika at starbucks to finalize the transfering of her gym membership to me. it went ok.. and now im officially a fitness first member. my branch is in abs-cbn.

i dunno..! i soo wanna go back to my cali life. for real. all the queen/princess treatment here doesnt matter to me anymore. sure, i can take advantage of it but what's the use when later on i would do the same chores by myself?!

i didnt realize until now.. that life is really challenging. i don't wanna say it's a bitch.. coz technically it's not.. it CAN be a bitch that's for sure!

I FUCKING TYPED A LOONGGGGGGG ENTRY AND ALL OF IT GOT ERASED!!!! HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU!!! I HATE U TABULAS! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im sooo frustrated!!!! imagine, me, being detailed with what happened from the day i havent updated this until now!

arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

in a brief overview: [since i have no choice but to type it again]

1. last friday was my job interview for the call center [HELLO CORPORATE WORLD!]. started at 9am and ended at 8pm. [mentally and physically drained] to think that i still have to go back tomorrow since i didnt take this certain exam coz of the lack of time. I AM HAVING 2ND THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS.

2. saturday and sunday [today] was dedicated for my review class. 8am-5pm. how c0ol noh? *sarcasm* i am mentally drained! i have no weekend. well, they just want me to go to class today to see which day i like better. sunday or saturday? i choose saturday.

3. went out last night with camille, anapet, andi and erika. ate at dish and karaoke bebe!! with matching starbucks [coffee lovers, pet and me]

4. louis, my friend and neighbor chilled out here. he just got out of the house actually. hehehe! he's got a prob so i was there for him. God bless him.

5. i am tired! and still pissed about my lonng entry getting deleted.

6. MY MOM'S BDAY IS TOMORROW! but il greet her now!

7. my mom and dad bought this silver colored wide screen, flat screen, home theater screen 45'' inch tv ONLY for their room. it will be delivered on wednesday.. hmm. it's ayt. i guess il be spending more time in their r0om now.. not that i havent.

8. when i was on my 1 hour break from the review, i called kitkat to ask for joyful's number. and then i called joyful. went to her house and we ate at bento box. [jap resto] soo delicious! i even saw ces!!!
my other friend who's a batch higher than us. anyways, it was my treat! hehe!

9. here are some of our saturday night out pics.

10. lastly, whenever i go out, i see things connected to *ahem*. not that i dont want to see them or i am looking for it, it just so happens that they appear right in front of my face!!! seriously!!!! signs???? maybe. AND YES, I AM STILL FOR him. sux....? =/

the dilemma? the company that i was applying for called me and asked me if i can go tomorrow about 10am for the contract signing. me? after the very last interview with the big bosses a while ago, i was pretty sure i wasnt their guy since they didnt give me a contract when the first girl got a contract right there and there. so i accepted the fact that im not gonna be hired right.. i dunno, but i felt kinda relieved then. and now this? shit. my mom told me that i should just let it pass, the impt thing was the experience at the corporate world. also, kitkat told me that if she was in my shoes.. she'd take the chance but she's also for the con part coz she told me these certain things:
1. financially stable.. ?
2. u just need something to unbore u
3. sch
aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!! sooo hard.....!!!!
my mom told me, i cant let somebody else decide for me.
i dunno, it's like i really want the job but then, i also dont want it.
50/50!!! im caught in the middle! im soo torn!

LIFE IS SOOO FREAKING HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went out and ate dinner at saisaki with the whole family coz of my mom's bday. delicious! but im tired!

other news, i bought 4 sets of dangling earrings!! soo hot!! it was sot of my celebration for not getting a contract right there..until this incident occured!

first off, i woke up at the wrong side of the bed today. coz i know i will have a looong day ahead of me due to that contract thing. if im gonna sign it or not. so my bro and i drove ourselves to eastwood [where the company is]. i was there right.. waiting for my name to be called while my bro [who works there] talked to this certain person about my situation. what's my situation u ask? an immigrant. so have to go back to the US every year. the problem is that they have a company bond. meaning i have to stay with them, once hired, for a year or else, i'll pay Php30,000 to them! Also, im still in school.
my brother told me that his boss advice was to not sign the contract. but then, he also told me that he can assign me to another account which i can only work for 6 months.. under the table in other words.
but after all the thinking, i cme to a conclusion that i will decline from the job. =/

second, i went to the gym with my brother today not knowing that i should have a guest pass for him. so i told the membership consultant that i wasnt told about that.. [for transfer accounts, there's no really guest passes given] so, it was their fault that they didnt tell me about it.. so they let my bro pass without paying the 500 thing. DIETHER OCAMPO was there!!! i didnt realize he's that attractive. he's got the appeal of an actor and.. yea.. tv adds 10 more pounds! his face was small.. well i mean, compared to seeing him on tv.. he's much "starry" in person. i ran on the treadmill for 15 mintues and 15 mintues walking. elliptical machine for 20 mins. another elliptical machine for 10 mins. 150 crunches and i used 2 of those wieght machines. yup. i killed myself alright.. but it was not enough.

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! im soo kilig!!!
*ahem* and i got to talk to each other!!!!! after 10 years!!! hehehe! seriously! and i think he was kinda excited to see me online.. coz after the "separation", ive never seen him that "talkative".. so yea.
im happy!!!!

gosh, i miss him terribly! i wish i could turn back the hands of time.

so the 50 inch tv was delivered today. my bros and i were so psyched. unfortunately, we can't use it until the hitachi men install it tomorrow! aaarggggh! talk about halting the excitement.

also, due to heavy rainfall, loud thunderstorms and thunder-y lithnings, a lot of schools cancelled their classes. and louis and i were supposed to go to the gym together but we both decided to not go anymore coz of flooded streets. argh! IM DEFINITELY MISSING CALI now!!! it's c0ol though, i wasnt really on the mood to go to the gym coz of the weather.

vero, my friend gave me hope. after talking to her a while ago on yahoo messenger.. it hit me that im still useful to this world. of course, after all the not-being-in-school-while-your-batchmates-are-in-theirs thing is really making me feel bad. bad enough to think that im getting old and still i havent reached what im supposed to reach at this point in my life. so sad so heart-breaking my avatar explains it all. and yes, i am a sad person in a happy face. luckily, vero told me that i can enroll in a spanish class and frech class. perrrrfect!! spanish is really useful in the US. seriously! ehhh.. french? well... it can be sexy! nyahaha! but seriously though, it ligthened me up. so tomorrow morning, i will inquire about some amigos and amigas who can teach me the language. thanks again vero! i mean, dude!!! she helped me answer some questions i always ask myself but really dont know the answer. seriosuly!

I'm so0o0o0o0o0o drained out!!!!!!! so0o0o0o0o tired of living. but one thing got me, i always complain about my life. so i wanna stop before it's to0 late.

yeyyy! kitkat visited me here at my house for nothing! aww. what a bestfriend she is. wo0t wo0t! well, actually.. she wanted to see me.. [lesbo!] and she had a free ride. so u know.. take the advantage. haha! love u to death biatch!

so anyways, yesterday was sunday. went to church and boy, did they[ex co-church goers] "look out after" us. i mean, ok.. of course u can't deny the fact of the evolving image of one person who came from a third world country and when he left to go to a much prestige place, he would sort of change right? i mean, outer change not inner change! argh. nevermind. i guess you can say, "halatang balikbayan". o0ps. moving on, went to calamba, laguna and visited my cousin from norway! she's gonna live here in the philippines for a while to pursue her modelling/acting career. and yes, she's got a commercial now though i havent seen it. we to0k pics but it's in our phones, so i dont think i can post it here.. unless i got some infrared on this pc. anyhow, after that, we went to greenhills. [where else?!] shopped and shopped and shopped! bought this shades that looks like my shades that has been lost during the luau party. pretty neat! and then this black pearl necklace! how awesome! and much more but im to0 lazy to elaborate it now. hehe

last night was miss teen usa 2004! i was rooting for california of course! but she wasnt included in the top 15. how sad. miss hawaii was pretty. she got my vote. due to the lotr 1-2 movie marathon on hbo, i had no idea what to watch.. go0d thing we have this PIP [Picture In Picture, where u can watch 2 shows at the same time]. though i must admit that i watched miss teen usa more than lotr. i mean come on now, how many times have i seen lotr1-3? and not to be a bitch but you can always count on dvds with that kinda stuff. hehehe. also, it kinda ruined my night when i saw aragorn wearing the evenstar necklace coz i cant find mine!!!! shitas..!!!

ok now? im happy coz today is the last day of the dlsu students! w0ot w0ot! ANIMO LA SALLE bebe!!!!!!!!!

[to be continued]

oh and shit, my mom invited her co worker from cali [inside the base] to stay here overnight [coz they to0 are balikbayans but theyre just gonna be here for 2 weeks, gosh i hope i can go back with them to cali]. and u know which room my mom presented?!? MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! frea#^%@!!!##$@ #$@#^&^!!!!

fine fine. it's just overnight. but still.

ok and last thing. it's been 2 months now and i still dont have my period. fuck! i cant be pregnant coz hello.. have u guys heard of sex- after-marriage? also, i dont puke/vomit plus, my tummy is not getting big ok, it's getting big from my gluttony! aaah fuck. i told my mom about this and my bro who's in pre med and he told me that it's hormonal.. but early this morning, he told me that he's gonna have me checked. ok, why all of a sudden i got nervous?! oh Lord, help!

Eddie: "..Why can't you let it go?! huh? huh?"
Jane: "Because!"
Eddie: "Because why?!"
Jane: "Because I was happy! Men dont leave women Eddie, they leave me!!!"

yey.. dsl. boo.. no salon for today.